naps

the car seat nap. an invaluable tool. this is old he has shunned the bink.

now HERE is a fascinating topic. the nap schedule. which is different depending on what book you read. the plan i am following is that he has 2.5 hours of wake time at once. which, i can tell, is pretty accurate. he gets tired doing all that crawling and trying to stand. the problem with this schedule is: how can you go out and do anything in 2.5 hours? it's really tough. it takes about 35 minutes to change diaper and take off my sweats and wear something suited for the public. also, he eats right after he naps. and he is a gourmet type. he takes a while and really enjoys himself.

before i had a kid i thought people who are slave to the naps were, well, wusses. come on, you can only have a 30 minute lunch with me? the answer to that is yes, that's all i got. and the reason is that the naps make the night time sleep better. and i mean better. yesterday his naps were TIGHT and he slept from 7 pm to 6 am. with two little cry episodes at 1130 and at 2. for ten minutes each. that is progress for my baby. usually the wake up and cry time is closer to an hour. if i can keep having that kind of night i will do almost anything. and the naps are what you have to do to get that.

some people's kids will nap anywhere. car seat is my only other option. i see other babies in strollers, on mom at lunch, at friends' houses in any of the contraptions. henry no likey. i have tried.

the things people say to you:

wow that kid is really ruling your household.

you can make an exception this once. (**listen i am social. i have daily opportunities to make an exception)

really he will ONLY sleep at home?

just bring him to dinner, we don't mind.

you should feed him more, he will sleep better. (** don't even. see previous post.)

so the good news is that he is going to grow up soon and have just one nap midday. this is all temporary. and the bad news is that he is going to grow up soon. it's sad to think of this baby phase being a memory. he is just so edible and perfect to me.

food

feeding a baby is hard!!

first of all, it's another thing to do in a day. not that there aren't stretches of boredom in our average day. but lots of times there doesn't seem like we have a spare minute.

secondly, he gets so dirty and the floor and the whole area. i need a hose. it takes forever to clean up. i usually throw away the clothes he's wearing. it's just a waste. i can't use real stain remover because it's toxic. so nothing comes out.

thirdly, of course i am making his food. and i thought i don't need a special baby food maker i have a food processor. yeah it is not really suited. it's a little big to puree a tablespoon of food. and one food four times in a row to catch allergies. so i have to go to the store daily to make sure it's fresh and not all brown from yesterday.

and now i have to start doing it two and then three times a day! one is tough. we are so behind the curve already. he's 8.5 months and still on first foods. which really doesn't bother me because i am glad he's still getting full force breast milk.

i think i said it before. food issues? coming out full on. magnified. unsure if dairy should be eaten? what about gluten? how do you feel about sugar? and cholesterol, butter, red meat? how important do you think organic is? what about grass fed free range and pastured animals? since i love sushi do i feed him white rice? and on and on.

maybe i should go back to work and stop sweating it.

other people's relationships

ok that's not entirely true. it was my relationships too for a long long time. why are women so incredibly willing to be stepped on? it drives me insane. i have a theory but it's not correct i recently found out.

i had a boyfriend that i lived with who went on vacation by himself because i didn't have enough money to go too. i had a boyfriend who loved booze much more than he loved me. i had a boyfriend who didn't care enough to practice safe sex when i requested that. i had a boyfriend who cheated and i took him back. i had a boyfriend who moved on and i pined and pined after him. i have a few friends whose boyfriends hit on me and they blamed me. ( i swear i am not one of THOSE women). i have a friend whose boyfriend flew a hooker into his vacation spot when she couldn't come. what the f? what self respecting woman would put up with any of that? i could go on too. but i won't it's too sad. i have a hard enough time listening to my friends justify their loser guy's behavior.

so i had a theory. that a dad's presence and love could make a girl confident enough to say "ok he just isn't that into me" (to borrow a phrase) and move on. a girl who had the love and attention of her number one guy- dad- could tell the difference between love and like and lust. and not stand for poor treatment. know that when a guy stops calling or treats you disrespectfully that you must move on. i even told michael there was no way in hell we would ever split up if we had a girl, he was so stuck with me. not that i ever want to split up with him but you know.

not that my dad is not around. he always was. but my parents divorced and there was a lot less daughter dad time than there could have been. and a lot of my friends have this in common.

but my friend recently gave me an example of a woman we know who stands for terrible treatment and who has a dad who was around. i wonder if this is the total story, i don't know her that well. regardless. if i have to listen to one more story of a woman dealing with this crap i don't know what i will do. i do have many friends with fantastic partners don't get me wrong. they are all around. but i wonder if these fine kind men were always so. were they a little more cavalier with women's feelings when they were young maybe having fun in college?

which brings me to my role. i have a baby! i can raise him to be kind and respectful to women. of course, i don't want him to be a wimp. but i hope that besides being polite and kind that he will not use women or lead them on in any way. like have a chick that he just sleeps with and won't hang out with during the day. i am going to make this a priority. so that i do my part to rid the world of these sad sad stories. i would love to raise a strong confident woman too. we'll see.

breastfeeding

classy intimation of breastfeeding. don't know where i got this but i wish i could say it's me and bebe.

i am not really sure what this blog is about except that it's my life. so i was thinking there is not much cohesion but screw it, i as a person am all over the place sometimes too.

nursing. nursing is not exactly how i thought it would be. while you are pregnant you imagine someone sucking so hard on your breast that they can get milk out. and you imagine it must really hurt. well it does-- at first. for me and most people i think. it took probably 3 weeks of nursing before it stopped hurting. that is a long period of nursing in pain. they eat every 2-3 hours at first. and by 2-3 i mean one. the time goes like this: start nursing at one. finish around 1:45. two hours later is from the time you started, so 3. and your boobs are in pain! the lanolin really really helps but it's surprising the pain. it subsides but you still get sore every once in a while. it's also hard to figure out the way you want to hold your baby. i can do it walking around now but at first i needed pillows and props and people to help. crazy to think back to that.

a non parent friend of mine asked me about people who start breastfeeding and stop before they had planned to stop. she wondered why this is so common. it got me thinking about why. i think that unless you are really very set on this path, it's easy to stop. you have this person almost clawing at you every few hours all day. it IS a bonding experience but it's also a little overwhelming depending on your mood. henry was a quiet eater until he got a little older. now in addition to eating he scratches me and kicks me and sometimes gives me a little nice tickle. mostly he pulls my hair and hits me. i am sure he means it all in the nicest way but it's a lot. it gets tough sometimes to deal with it. especially if you are sleep deprived. there are lovely times when he looks up at me and smiles and laughs and makes cute noises too.

and then there is the whole public issue. it took me a month or so but now i basically whip it out wherever. california law says i can. i think i am pretty classy about it. most people think he is sleeping i think. but it is hard on some people. for them, it's easier to put a bottle together. it's powder and you just need a bottle and some bottled water. (i am a little weirded out by the ingredients in formula so i think i had a good motivation to keep going no matter what the discomfort. corn syrup?)

and honestly speaking of time and ease. breastfeeding releases hormones in both mom and baby that make us sleepy. sometimes at home i lie there for a while and let him play even though i know he's done. i feel a little drugged. (sometimes i nurse lying down.) it's so nice and snuggly! unless he is in a crazy mood then it's just kind of funny. he will get up on all fours if he's energetic.

i think it has helped me lose weight. he's 7.5 months and i am probably 5 pounds away from where i began. a different shape mind you but weight wise i am close. every time he goes thru a growth spurt i lose a little more. it's nice. i kinda thought i would be really skinny, it's amazing how much he must take from me. but almost back to normal is not bad. my arms are pretty buff from lifting the 20 lbs a million times a day too. but that's a whole nother fitness regime i guess.

wedding recap part deux

4) postage on the invites. honestly a waste of money. but i did it pretty cheaply by buying uncancelled stamps on ebay. still have a lot of bizarre stamps left.

the real envelopes

my inspiration

also really loved a certain calligrapher's style and got my best friend to copy it. it is pretty wild looking i guess but i looooved them.

5) invitations!

here's what i came up with. designed and had them letterpressed. used a marker to color the edges, it is expensive to have it done and it looked just fine.

my invites

my obsession

i guess i kind of captured the feel.

6) my backyard rehearsal dinner looked just like this. i can't find a pic but i swear it did.

food

that is an avocado pit. we let him lick the avo off. he's not eating the pit.

how about a baby to put your food issues under a magnifying glass?! and all other issues while we are talking about it. it's true. another surprising thing you learn as a new mom.

this is henry's fourth meal. we started with pears and went on to avocados. he likes neither yet. the texture is freaking him out. i read about baby led weaning and so far, i have been able to avoid pureeing. yippee! and boy has this all been baby led. i looked over at brunch at our house last sunday and henry had a pear in his hand he had taken from the fruit bowl. he was on michael's lap. and he had taken a bite or two. he gummed it. so we started feeding him then.

wedding recap

what you got married two years ago! so what. i was traumatized by the whole planning and throwing of it so it took me until now to not be hyper critical and be able to look back on it all calmly. instead of just normal critical. and i am copying marty, i liked her post.

in absolutely no particular order:

1.) i wanted a cooler dj a and did hire one.

but here's what happened:

a conga line. ok it's a wedding, it happens.

2.) my ring! i got what i wanted

number two. seriously, that's pretty cool right?

3.) my dress. i thought i had found it early.

and really it's very cool that i actually found that dress in a store and got to try it on. not good. too much satin and too little thigh muscle if you get my drift. but i do like my dress, which i rented. for 800 f-ing dollars. i think it was a 3500 dollar dress maybe. vera wang. oh and that is my belt from j crew. not even part of that 800. and my veil. 800 dollars i mean really come on.

i thought about having a dress made. too scared i would spend the dough and i would not like it. and there was a lot of obsessing and trying to save money. i am happy with my decision. i do not need to pass down a dress to a daughter in law who will not like it anyway.

i think i have to make this post a multi parter. so much back and forthing comparing stuff.